The Dirtbag Decathlon

The ski resorts have closed, travel is prohibited, and the world is on lockdown. So, the mind begins to wander … which has led me to a simple question: What are the “bucket list” items for every skier, climber, and so on. As far as I know, the only attempt to put together a list like this was in the Point Break redo. You remember, the Ozaki 8? Yeah, neither does anyone else. So I’ve taken it upon myself to compile a list and throw it out there for people with greater expertise to pick apart. I’m calling it the Dirtbag Decathlon, and it consists of the most grueling, heart-pounding, pride-inducing accomplishments across the range of adventure sports:

1. Running – Ultra Trail du Mont Blanc (Chamonix, France)

2. Triathlon – Jackson Hole Picnic (Jackson, USA)

3. Thru-Hiking – Camino de Santiago (Northern Spain)

4. Surfing – Banzai Pipeline (Oahu, USA)

5. Skiing – Corbet’s Couloir (Jackson, USA)

6. Mountaineering – K2 (China-Pakistan Border)

7. Rock Climbing – El Capitan (Yosemite National Forest, California, USA)

8. Mountain Biking – Slickrock Trail (Moab, USA)

9. Swimming – English Channel (Dover, England)

10. Sailing – ‘Round the World

This is just one person’s opinion, and I am curious if you think this list is right or if I have totally screwed it up. Should Western States take the place of Ultra Trail du Mont Blanc? Has the Appalachian Trail or Pacific Crest Trail surpassed the Camino de Santiago? Is there something I have completely missed. Let me know at madmountaincollective@gmail.com.

I considered several other possibilities, including Dirtbiking (Baja 1,000 – Baja, Mexico), Free Diving (Blue Hole, Belize), and Base Jumping – Lauterbrunnen Mountains (Lauterbrunnen, Switzerland). There are probably more, and if I left out your favorite outdoor pursuit, I apologize.

I would love to see someone achieve the entire Dirtbag Decathlon. Unfortunately, I have no rewards to offer. And I can’t promise spiritual enlightenment, like Ozaki promised in Point Break, because, well, I’ve only completed one adventure (Slickrock). All I can promise is an exclusive profile by the Mad Mountain Collective, which will be broadcasted to all 8 of its readers. How can you pass that up?

All joking aside, I would love to hear your exploits on any one of these (or other) bucket-list adventures.In the meantime, I’ll continue to dream of sailing around the world, surfing Pipeline, or dropping into Corbet’s Couloir when the powder is fresh and nobody is around to watch me fall.I just have to wipe the donut crumbs off my shirt first.